Tamm McCubbin: Until Death Do Us Part

Marriage. The word alone is packed with different meanings and emotions for so many people. Some dread the word, some fear the word. Some anticipate the day of their marriage, where as others can only dream of it. For me, and countless alike, I cannot even legally imagine my wedding.

Marriage. The word alone is packed with different meanings and emotions for so many people. Some dread the word, some fear the word. Some anticipate the day of their marriage, where as others can only dream of it. For me, and countless alike, I cannot even legally imagine my wedding.

This is because marriage between two homosexual beings is illegal in the state of Wisconsin. My partner and I have been together two and a half years; I picture growing old with her. When we talk about our future, it pains me to think that if we wanted to get married, as of now, we will have to travel to Massachusetts, Connecticut, New Jersey or Vermont, where same-sex marriage or civil union is legal, to even consider.

The debate of whether same-sex marriage should be legal has been ablaze for some time. There have been countless arguments against same-sex marriage ranging from the ethics and tradition of marriage, to deep religious ties. It may be reasonable that people may have some anxiety about the whole subject, but to completely deny people their right to marriage is a violation of my rights and my pursuit of happiness.

In the state of Wisconsin, same-sex marriage and even civil union is illegal. During election in November of 2006, more than half of voters voted against same-sex marriage and civil union. The approval of civil union would allow same-sex marriage couples to enjoy rights and benefits similar to married couples. The vote against same-sex marriage and civil union is not unfamiliar to the U.S. During the 2008 elections, the state of California voted for the state constitution to define marriage as a union between one male and one female.

I call this a double slap in the face; No same-sex marriage in my home state, and banned same-sex marriage in yet another state. Marriage is stereotypically every little girl’s dream. I used to plan my wedding down to what flavor the cake will be, to who is on the guest list. Now that I am with the women of my dreams, and I and I am with the only person I could even think about marring, I am not even allowed to marry.

Marriage is supposed to be the foundation of a happy family. The fact that I am denied this simple right hurts every day. And to pour salt in a wound, people seem to think that civil union is a substitute to marriage. I view civil union as a form of separation. Sure we can have a few benefits, and almost be as equal as a married couple, but we are not yet up to the status of marriage. Looking back through history, separate but equal does not work. People want to be treated as equal, point blank and period.

The arguments against same-sex marriage vary. There have been many nights where I have gotten into heated debates about the topic. For sake of time, I’ll just choose a few of my favorite arguments against same-sex marriage. First being, marriage is meant for one man and one woman. This argument is valued because, who says marriage is between one man and one woman? This argument seems as an easy way out for straight couples as to why same-sex couples should not get married.

Another classic is marriage is for pro-creation. If this argument is true, then what about couples that cannot procreate? Are their marriages void? Or what about the married couples that decides not to have children for varied reasons? If marriage is only for pro-creation, then are all the other couples that don’t have children not in love, is their marriage not worthy?

One particular argument that stings is the argument that same-sex couples do not provide the right environment to raise children. This is interesting because many of the heterosexual married couples I know, including my own divorced parents, don’t provide the most optimum environment for their children. Regardless of if your parents are two males, two females, or one male and one female, a nurturing home is a nurturing home. Homosexual couples can provide a well balanced home for children, just as supposedly heterosexual couples can.

Love is love. Regardless of what sex the two individuals are, if two people love each they should be able to commit fully. The fact that I may never be able to legally hear, “Till death do us part, you may kiss the bride,” continues to sting. Don’t worry though; the fight is only over when the masses give up. Hopefully sooner than later, America will wake up to true love regardless of sex.

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