The Doctor for President

This candidate is not two-faced

By Jacob Ebben

He has saved the world time and time again in moments we didn’t even know we were in danger. In chaos, he has granted mercy to the weak and has brought fear to the tyrant. He is a physician, a soldier, a philanthropist, a savior…. a mad man in a box. This man is the Doctor, the next president of the United States. Or perhaps he was the former or current president. He has a time machine, so in reality he can be president whenever he wants.

The Doctor has a large leg up against the run-of-the-mill political hopefuls in the pursuit of the presidency. Forged in fire and war, the Doctor has the extensive background to lead the nation to a new dawn. He was once ruler of his home world, Galifrey, making him more than qualified to lead the American people.

The problem with American politicians is that they put on facades. They make themselves appear to be somebody, and the next moment they act like they are a completely different person. The Doctor is not two-faced; in fact, he has thirteen different faces. He does not change his appearance and personality for special interests and partisan politics. Nor is the Doctor secretive about his other faces. When the he changes bodies, he alerts everyone with a show of lights and fanfare. He does not for political reasons or cash incentives, but because he gets shot by lasers or contracts radiation poison.  

There is another problem with the candidates of today: they can die. The American public is sick of worrying about the Lee Harvey Oswalds and the glitter bombers who wish to assassinate or humiliate their president. With the Doctor as president, the American people can rest assured that whenever he is harmed, he can simply regenerate his body into a new one, and carry on with his duties.

The Doctor can travel through time…and change it. Imagine a president who did not just say we would win a war, but single handedly wins it for us. After all, we are talking about a man who brought two almighty civilizations to their knees. He watched them burn, and then saved them because he could. He already stopped the nuclear proliferation in the Cold War; he could easily go back and defeat the Vietcong. He once stopped a 20 million strong army of cyborgs from occupying earth and enslaving us all; if we elected him to the future, he should have no trouble saving us when China declares war on us to pay our debts back.

With the Doctor as Physician, Commander and Chief, he can steer us to a brighter future, for he himself has seen what is to come.  

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